Richard Branson's Rock The Kasbah party, Victoria Hervey tries to remind us who she is

Absolutely point blank refuse to address Victoria Hervey by her official title. Is she actually a 'lady'? Obviously we're not doubting whether she has a fanny (although now you mention it...), but did she win her name or is she some kind of marchioness? Countess perhaps? Anyway, she was at Richard Branson's fundraiser in Hollywood last night. Not sure if it was to raise cash for his recently burnt to the ground Necker Island retreat or perhaps for his new bank - you gonna need money if you're running a bank, maybe. Probably something more serious, old Branston pickle's good like that.

Celebs in attendance also included Paris Hilton, Natalie Imbruglia, Will.I.am, Geena Davis, Audrina Patridge and Branson's mum, last seen being carried out of a burning wreckage by Kate Winslet.

Talking of carrying people, Branson didn't pick up any of his guests, which is absolutely unheard of for him. Bad luck, Hilton and Hervey - must be coz you're too dirty.