Noble Gift Gala, with Mariah Carey, Eva Longoria, Lizzie Cundy and an Ecclestone

In ye olde days, London parties were more likely to revolve around Emma Noble's gifts, but look us now - how we've grown! To be honest, we're not really sure what the Noble Gift Gala was, but we presume it was some kind of opportunity for the wealthy to unburden themselves of a small fraction of their cash - just to save them from having to go out and buy a gold plated bath or diamond encrusted Bentley the next day...

Take Tamara Eccletone, it must actually be a challenge for her trying to work out what to spend her fortune on next (and a challenge to work out anything, tbh). According to her dad Bernie, her and her sister Petra have been irresponsibly ripping through the almost $5 billion he set away for them to invest.

Talking to the Mail, Bernie said:

“The idea was that they’d buy super-quality property that would be long-term, for their children and everything else.

“It didn’t happen. They haven’t done that. So they’ve had access to money which they’ve spent.”

Fuckwits. If Tamara was happy to spend $18m on her wedding day, let's hope she she dug equally deep for her noble gift, maybe giving a bit of the change to Lizzie Cundy too. Also, she might like to invest a bit of money in her own 'gifts' since they've not really worked out too well.