Ryan Giggs superinjunction finally lifted, world truly shocked by contents

Prepare yourself everyone, for a secret that will rock your world, just like it has rocked our world for the past six months. A secret so huge it had to be superinjuncted to stop the public finding out. Luckily, this superinjunction was lifted yesterday, so we can finally tell you.

Are you ready? Ok, here it is…

RYAN GIGGS HAD AN AFFAIR WITH EX-BIG BROTHER CONTESTANT IMOGEN THOMAS.

Unbelievable, isn't it? He seemed like such a lovely guy. If only we had known earlier. It just makes you think, what other celebrity secrets is Justice Tugendhat hiding under his wig? Something about a TV presenter? Or a banking chief? Who knows.

Of course the worst off in this whole affair is poor old Imogen Thomas. If there's a real victim here, it's her. We only wish it had been lifted sooner so we had a chance to hear her side of the story. Unfortunately, she seems too principled to ever do anything as tawdry as a kiss-and-tell with one of the tabloids, so chances are that we'll never know. Our thoughts are with you though, Imogen.

Once again though, the law has prevailed and justice has been done.