Cheryl Cole assembles crack team of lawyers to help clear her name, does not love Harvey

When two people love each other very much, sometimes they get angry and shout at each other when they don't both agree on the same things. It doesn't mean they don't love each other, just that one of them is from Newcastle and they other is from Plymouth. They're just too different. Also, one of their dads was a Gladiator named Bullit. Different worlds.

Who are we talking about? It's Cheryl Cole and Harvey Sosolid (sounds Turkish) of course! Harvey and Cheryl have recently been engaged in a very public row after Harvey last week alleged that many years ago Cheryl sent him love emails, a claim which Cheryl has since denied, BECAUSE SHE'S STILL IN LOVE WITH ASHLEY! No, only joking, we just wanted to be involved.  Attention seekers, that's us.

It doesn't stop there though, the saga was made even more exciting when Harvey produced the love emails and presented them to the lawyers at Now Magazine, the publication that had originally printed his claims. It was at this point that Cheryl decided enough was enough, calling in a crack team of crack lawyers to sue Now Magazine, both to clear her name and to hopefully prevent the same vicious love attack ever happening again. Here's what the crack team had to say about the matter:

"Cheryl Cole has today commenced legal proceedings in London against the publishers of Now magazine as a result of its two articles about her alleged "secret romance" with Michael Harvey.

"Cheryl's lawyers have asked to see Mr Harvey's alleged e-mails which the magazine says are "proof" of the "romance" but it claims not to have them in its possession. Mr Harvey's claims are denied by Cheryl and she looks forward to seeing both him and the magazine in Court at the very earliest opportunity."

We suspect that one of Harvey's mates is currently feeling like he should probably lay low for a while. The real clincher's going to be when we see the emails and they're all written by Cheryl Kerl.