Celebrities return to Twitter and Facebook, manhunt for final donor begins

As it stood, last week we were diving into an olympic sized pool of not-quite-guilt-free schadenfreude while we watched a stinky selection of everyone's favourite love-to-hate celebrities find out exactly how much their presence on the internet meant to their fans. It was surprisingly little. We use 'surprisingly' because we've seen quite a few times here on HM exactly why fan is short for fanatic.

So, what actually happened was that the celebs managed to pull in the big guns over the weekend and reached their target of $1 million yesterday, despite the total standing at just over $100k on friday. While around $300k of this was from (we reckon) their own offshore accounts, a mysterious philanthropist by the name of Stewart Rahr then put the final $500k in. Thanks Stew. Thanks very much.

Best of all were the quotes from 'sources' close to the charity:

'It's the worst mismanagement of star power I've ever seen in my life,'

 

'Some stars thought the money would be raised in 24 hours, and were embarrassed that critics said it proves nobody cares about their Twitter presence.'

Yes it's a charity so we should be pleased, blah blah blah, but there are better ways for these people/celebs/false idols to raise money. Virtually any other in fact. Perhaps a fund raiser where a member of the public gets to see which celeb can swallow the most depleted uranium before setting off a geiger counter, it could be called 'Celebrity Reality Warzone Aftermath'. We'd certainly pay.